What do a college frat brother, a man I have known my entire life (since before I turned 1), a childhood friend, a high school friend and an old girlfriend all have in common? I visited with all of them within a 5 week period and in 3 different cities.
Before I begin with how wonderful it was to see them, I think it is only fair to describe the means. I still occasionally talk to my childhood friend and the man I have known my entire life. The other three were all initially contacted through a social network, either LinkedIn or Facebook. For this I am ever grateful to my kids for introducing me to technology I initially found useless. All of the people listed except one have stayed in the same city for over 20 years. In my profession, I move every so often.
Perhaps this is not entirely unexpected. Each one has children with a very demanding life and career. It makes it hard to keep up with people that you knew years ago. A summer vacation and holidays are usually committed to family.
Social networks allowed me to find each one or for them to find me. It certainly helped that social networks allow you to post information about yourself and let others see it. So when you talk to old friends you are way past the standard question: “So what has changed with you over the past 25 years?” You know the question, usually asked at high school reunions. In all honesty, I thought social networks were a big waste of time. The only reason I got on Facebook was to monitor my kids’ activities. I was wrong. It is enjoyable to catch up with old friends and see what they are doing.
Now to the main point. If you look at any person’s life, I think it is a book. The book starts with your birth and ends with your death. It comprises of many chapters and characters. Some characters start early and strong, but grow slightly dimmer in far later chapters, ie parents. Some characters are present throughout your life, ie a sibling. Some characters come in a certain part and are bright and strong, but later fade, ie friends made at work or school. Some come later and burn bright for decades, ie spouse and kids. Each major character contributes to your life in some form or fashion. Each of the five I noted in the first paragraph all played a significant part in my book and I am grateful for what I have been given and somewhat disappointed that I did not offer enough. Perhaps that is a sign of individuals that influenced your life; you recognize how they helped you and that you may not have done enough for them. With each one I shared many wonderful memories.
What I could not appreciate then is each of these individuals did not focus on my weaknesses (which are numerous), but rather chose to enjoy my few strengths. In all honesty I have found people’s imperfections are what make them interesting. In hindsight, I think knowing each one of these individuals softened my weaknesses and magnified my strengths. Each one had a positive impact on me before I started my professional career. I think that is an understated point. Each relationship was a choice as opposed to a necessity. You know what I mean by a necessity, people you must tolerate or interact with due to work or some other obligation.
A brief note on each one (just my observations). One recently retired and he earned his retirement, he is now turning his attention to more philanthropic actions. One has a precocious daughter, he is a very smart man, and as she gets older, he will soon meet his match (I hope I get to see it). One has three boys and a stunning and very kind wife, his life at this point is quite busy with the boys’ activities. One has three children and can take great pride and joy in how they have turned out, she made a choice and her children have benefited. One has two boys and a girl and you can see how strong the family is, he is a Boy Scout leader and from my experiences with him, the troop is very fortunate (no boy will get away with anything because he knows or tried every trick in the book).
They all are or were in interesting professions. One was in the oil business, one works for an important branch of the federal government, one is an immensely talented writer, one trades stocks, and one is a buyer for a multinational corporation. Four of the five are Republicans and conservative.
In many respects I am not a nostalgic or sentimental man. When my parents sold my childhood home my wife asked me if I would be sad. My answer was I hope a family enjoys it as much as we did. About the only items I place any value on are old photos, letters, campaign buttons, a few books, a couple of pieces of furniture, and any artwork by my parents or children. Most other things I keep because it sparks a happy memory. Sometimes I look at what I value and realize if anyone tried to sell any item, it likely would not get much money. But the letters and art really mean a lot to me. I suspect that is where the phrase priceless comes from.
Each one of the five people is in essence priceless to me. Each one helped me become a better man. I may not have recognized it then, but I do now. Each one is a unique individual and our paths took us different ways. But we certainly share something I still cannot adequately describe. Perhaps it is unique experiences in a less complicated time. It could be reinforced as I watch my children grow up and seeing them interact with their friends. I now know if I am in the city any of these people live, I will call to see if dinner is a possibility. Perhaps I am more nostalgic than I thought. I just did not know it.
Before I begin with how wonderful it was to see them, I think it is only fair to describe the means. I still occasionally talk to my childhood friend and the man I have known my entire life. The other three were all initially contacted through a social network, either LinkedIn or Facebook. For this I am ever grateful to my kids for introducing me to technology I initially found useless. All of the people listed except one have stayed in the same city for over 20 years. In my profession, I move every so often.
Perhaps this is not entirely unexpected. Each one has children with a very demanding life and career. It makes it hard to keep up with people that you knew years ago. A summer vacation and holidays are usually committed to family.
Social networks allowed me to find each one or for them to find me. It certainly helped that social networks allow you to post information about yourself and let others see it. So when you talk to old friends you are way past the standard question: “So what has changed with you over the past 25 years?” You know the question, usually asked at high school reunions. In all honesty, I thought social networks were a big waste of time. The only reason I got on Facebook was to monitor my kids’ activities. I was wrong. It is enjoyable to catch up with old friends and see what they are doing.
Now to the main point. If you look at any person’s life, I think it is a book. The book starts with your birth and ends with your death. It comprises of many chapters and characters. Some characters start early and strong, but grow slightly dimmer in far later chapters, ie parents. Some characters are present throughout your life, ie a sibling. Some characters come in a certain part and are bright and strong, but later fade, ie friends made at work or school. Some come later and burn bright for decades, ie spouse and kids. Each major character contributes to your life in some form or fashion. Each of the five I noted in the first paragraph all played a significant part in my book and I am grateful for what I have been given and somewhat disappointed that I did not offer enough. Perhaps that is a sign of individuals that influenced your life; you recognize how they helped you and that you may not have done enough for them. With each one I shared many wonderful memories.
What I could not appreciate then is each of these individuals did not focus on my weaknesses (which are numerous), but rather chose to enjoy my few strengths. In all honesty I have found people’s imperfections are what make them interesting. In hindsight, I think knowing each one of these individuals softened my weaknesses and magnified my strengths. Each one had a positive impact on me before I started my professional career. I think that is an understated point. Each relationship was a choice as opposed to a necessity. You know what I mean by a necessity, people you must tolerate or interact with due to work or some other obligation.
A brief note on each one (just my observations). One recently retired and he earned his retirement, he is now turning his attention to more philanthropic actions. One has a precocious daughter, he is a very smart man, and as she gets older, he will soon meet his match (I hope I get to see it). One has three boys and a stunning and very kind wife, his life at this point is quite busy with the boys’ activities. One has three children and can take great pride and joy in how they have turned out, she made a choice and her children have benefited. One has two boys and a girl and you can see how strong the family is, he is a Boy Scout leader and from my experiences with him, the troop is very fortunate (no boy will get away with anything because he knows or tried every trick in the book).
They all are or were in interesting professions. One was in the oil business, one works for an important branch of the federal government, one is an immensely talented writer, one trades stocks, and one is a buyer for a multinational corporation. Four of the five are Republicans and conservative.
In many respects I am not a nostalgic or sentimental man. When my parents sold my childhood home my wife asked me if I would be sad. My answer was I hope a family enjoys it as much as we did. About the only items I place any value on are old photos, letters, campaign buttons, a few books, a couple of pieces of furniture, and any artwork by my parents or children. Most other things I keep because it sparks a happy memory. Sometimes I look at what I value and realize if anyone tried to sell any item, it likely would not get much money. But the letters and art really mean a lot to me. I suspect that is where the phrase priceless comes from.
Each one of the five people is in essence priceless to me. Each one helped me become a better man. I may not have recognized it then, but I do now. Each one is a unique individual and our paths took us different ways. But we certainly share something I still cannot adequately describe. Perhaps it is unique experiences in a less complicated time. It could be reinforced as I watch my children grow up and seeing them interact with their friends. I now know if I am in the city any of these people live, I will call to see if dinner is a possibility. Perhaps I am more nostalgic than I thought. I just did not know it.
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