Before you get any bright ideas or draw the wrong conclusion, this is not about some feat of strength or any brain game. It also is not remotely related to any light bulb joke. However, it is about the wisdom of mothers and the analytical ability of females.
First, some background. My daughter plays in the middle school band. She plays the obo. We upgraded her instrument on a promise that she would play at least until high school. A couple of days ago she hinted that she did not want to play anymore. She then revised it to say she did not play in the marching band.
Needless to say, I was frustrated. We also got her a guitar that she quickly lost interest in. My first reaction was to make her play, but I knew that would lead to resentment. My second reaction (about 5 minutes later) was to cut our losses and turn the obo in so we could stop paying for it. My wife suggested that she talk to the band leader and to our daughter. This is typical, I want a decision/conclusion and to move on; my wife wants to spend time analyzing the issues and talking to people. Frankly, I thought my daughter made her position quite clear so I thought we should stop it after the current school year ends.
This took place on a Saturday. The next day we went to Sunday school. My wife and I walk in and one of our fellow classmates says “Oh, a man has arrived.” At the time, eight women were in the class and on this particular Sunday, none were accompanied by their husband. Most members of our class have children ranging in ages from 2 to 20+. I think you should know about the women that attended this particular Sunday. All are intelligent, creative and interesting ladies with significant accomplishments, my wife included. Two are accountants, two are teachers, two are writers, one started a business with her husband and volunteers as a part time teacher, one is an attorney, and one is a professional counselor. All are mothers of well behaved children.
We were studying “The God of Second Chances” by Erik Kolbell. The lesson this Sunday was redemption, very appropriate. A key point about redemption is remembering where you come from so you can see where you want to go. It is a process.
What makes this class unique is sometimes people use examples of their lives and children. It makes the lessons far more real and usually makes me think. We talked about the obo issue with my daughter. First, I was surprised how each Mom said almost the exact same thing my wife told me the night before. One even pointed out it could be viewed as an investment. Several gave excellent and relevant examples pertaining to their children. A few of the stories just made me laugh. You know why, we have experienced it and you are experiencing it now.
It is why I sometimes think men perhaps make better judges (make quick decision), but women better jurors (listen better and process information more deliberately). As my wife often points out, when she talks to me about a problem, I immediately want to fix it. When I talk to her, she listens.
In a nutshell, I learned that my quest to save money is nothing to the experiences my daughter may gain. They were right, perhaps later my daughter will play the obo and enjoy it. One mother pointed out that our kids live in a highly social world with computers, the internet, cell phones and texting. So doing an activity like practicing an instrument can be isolated and lonely. I benefited from their wisdom. My wife said the same thing, but I just focused on saving money. In hindsight, I should have listened more carefully to her. So to ladies all over who ask the essential question, do men listen? I can answer, yes, it just may take a platoon.
First, some background. My daughter plays in the middle school band. She plays the obo. We upgraded her instrument on a promise that she would play at least until high school. A couple of days ago she hinted that she did not want to play anymore. She then revised it to say she did not play in the marching band.
Needless to say, I was frustrated. We also got her a guitar that she quickly lost interest in. My first reaction was to make her play, but I knew that would lead to resentment. My second reaction (about 5 minutes later) was to cut our losses and turn the obo in so we could stop paying for it. My wife suggested that she talk to the band leader and to our daughter. This is typical, I want a decision/conclusion and to move on; my wife wants to spend time analyzing the issues and talking to people. Frankly, I thought my daughter made her position quite clear so I thought we should stop it after the current school year ends.
This took place on a Saturday. The next day we went to Sunday school. My wife and I walk in and one of our fellow classmates says “Oh, a man has arrived.” At the time, eight women were in the class and on this particular Sunday, none were accompanied by their husband. Most members of our class have children ranging in ages from 2 to 20+. I think you should know about the women that attended this particular Sunday. All are intelligent, creative and interesting ladies with significant accomplishments, my wife included. Two are accountants, two are teachers, two are writers, one started a business with her husband and volunteers as a part time teacher, one is an attorney, and one is a professional counselor. All are mothers of well behaved children.
We were studying “The God of Second Chances” by Erik Kolbell. The lesson this Sunday was redemption, very appropriate. A key point about redemption is remembering where you come from so you can see where you want to go. It is a process.
What makes this class unique is sometimes people use examples of their lives and children. It makes the lessons far more real and usually makes me think. We talked about the obo issue with my daughter. First, I was surprised how each Mom said almost the exact same thing my wife told me the night before. One even pointed out it could be viewed as an investment. Several gave excellent and relevant examples pertaining to their children. A few of the stories just made me laugh. You know why, we have experienced it and you are experiencing it now.
It is why I sometimes think men perhaps make better judges (make quick decision), but women better jurors (listen better and process information more deliberately). As my wife often points out, when she talks to me about a problem, I immediately want to fix it. When I talk to her, she listens.
In a nutshell, I learned that my quest to save money is nothing to the experiences my daughter may gain. They were right, perhaps later my daughter will play the obo and enjoy it. One mother pointed out that our kids live in a highly social world with computers, the internet, cell phones and texting. So doing an activity like practicing an instrument can be isolated and lonely. I benefited from their wisdom. My wife said the same thing, but I just focused on saving money. In hindsight, I should have listened more carefully to her. So to ladies all over who ask the essential question, do men listen? I can answer, yes, it just may take a platoon.
No comments:
Post a Comment